Stop and think. When is the last time someone yelled at you or even just spoke very sternly to you? Did that experience affect your feelings toward that person? I don't know about you, but I find being on the receiving end of a reprimand of any sort to be very upsetting. Of course, some people find it relatively easy to let this kind of thing roll right off. I'm not one of them. 

Similarly, some dogs are more tolerant of yelling or verbal "correction" than others, but I can assure you that if you yell, you are damaging your relationship with your dog. It may not be apparent in the moment. In fact, your dog may respond immediately to a harsh tone, but you are bound to experience the effects later on. 

I want to be the most wonderful person in the world to my dog. In order to do that, I need to be predictably happy when I interact with her. If I create any doubt in my dog's mind as to how I might treat her, I have driven a wedge of some sort between us. Have I ever yelled at my dog? Yes, I have because I am human and I sometimes get frustrated. It's not something that I want to do, but every so often, a bad mood gets the best of me. I can tell you, however, that I never use yelling or even stern speaking as a way of teaching my dog what I do and do not want.

We are currently experiencing a windfall of discovery in the area of canine cognition and it is becoming very clear that the basic structure of dog brains and human brains is quite similar. We know for a fact that a stressed person is less capable of learning than a happy, relaxed person. If you want to read about this, check this out: The Neuroscience Behind Stress and Learning by Judy Willis. Think about your favorite teachers. Most of us learned most efficiently from people who inspired us rather than those who scared us. That doesn't mean that those benevolent teachers allowed us get away with not working. On the contrary, I think most often we are more motivated by teachers who expected a lot from us, but who motivated us to want to do the work. Dogs really are no different.

I have worked with clients who have had a terrible time getting their dogs to come when they called. The most common cause of the problem was that the person had a history of being harsh or yelling at his/her dog. The yelling may not have been directly related to the dog's recall. In fact, more often than not the reprimand had absolutely nothing at all to do with training that particular behavior, but had somehow crept into other interactions between the dog and person. Each and every time we make the choice to yell at our dogs, we erode the relationship between us. 

For some reason, our culture has embraced the idea of yelling as an effective way to discipline our dogs. In the past, when we mistakenly thought that we had to "dominate" our dogs and show them who's boss, it was understandable. Recent scientific studies have taught us that this is a false way of looking at canine behavior. (If you want to read a bit about this, see this article by Patricia McConnell.)  In light of all the work that has been done on canine cognition, we should know better. Think about the people you respect and love the most. I doubt very much that they are verbally abusive. Your dog will thank you for remembering to choose a positive and clear way of communicating.

"My dog knows ten different commands, but he is stubborn and refuses to do any of them! He does it to bother me!" As a trainer, I hear this sort of thing all the time. And during our training sessions, my clients often start off by barking commands at their dogs (pun intended!). Recently, one client came into my classroom with a beautiful dog who was somewhat shy. She proceeded to shout commands at the dog while the dog looked back at her blankly. "See! He is willfully ignoring me!" I walked over to the dog and quietly asked for two or three of those same behaviors in a cheerful voice. Poof! Problem solved! 

I often compare dogs to children in their need to be in a pleasant environment. The child in second grade with a really mean-spiritied teacher would do much better in a classroom with a pleasant and encouraging teacher. We all do better in an environment that promotes learning and allows us to make mistakes without dire consequences. Our dogs are no different. It's such a simple principle, but many people are reticent to embrace it when it comes to their own dogs. This isn't all that surprising.  It goes against the more traditional and hard-to-break habit of seeing our dogs as beasts who must be controlled.

On occasion in my puppy classes, the dulcet tones of military drill sergeants ring through the air. I quietly walk over and suggest a gentler approach. The results are astounding. Like many positive dog trainers, I intentionally use the word "cue" rather than "command" when talking about the words we use to ask our dogs for particular behaviors. The language we use to describe what we do is important. It sets a tone. It fosters an attitude.

At home with my own dog, I use the cue "sit please." And let me tell you, my dog has a rock-solid sit!  When I tell clients about this, they chuckle, thinking I'm exaggerating or spoiling my dog in some way. I think of my use of pleasant cues as a way of creating a respectful partnership. I have "buy in" from my dog. She's willing to do almost anything I ask of her, as long as I have trained it well and maintain a happy learning environment.

I recently went to an appointment with a client I hadn't seen in quite a long time. As I walked in the door, I overheard her asking her dog to "sit, please." The dog sat happily without hesitation and the person had an enormous grin on her face.  So did I.

How many dogs do you have? As a dog trainer, I am constantly being asked this question. I think most people expect me to say three or four. Or at least two, for goodness sake. “One,” I reply.  “Oh,” says the questioner, clearly disappointed and suspicious of my abilities as a dog trainer. I then proceed to explain that my dog doesn’t like other dogs. “Your dog doesn’t like dogs?” I can hear the horror in their voices. I don’t mind. I’m used to it and I’m confident that my dog is living a happy life. Do I wish she were more social with other dogs? Sure. But it’s hardly the end of the world. She much prefers people and I’m OK with that. “Why doesn’t she like dogs? What’s wrong with her?” Those are usually the next questions. Nothing is WRONG with her, that’s just who she is. I explain that I don’t believe she was socialized properly as a puppy, although I can’t be sure because I adopted her when she was two or three years old.  Honestly, I don’t sit and worry about why. The possibilities are endless. It is what it is, and I simply need to respect her feelings. It’s a tad inconvenient at times for someone who is a dog professional, but I’ll live.

One of the next comments likely to follow is about the person with the dog who likes some dogs but not ALL dogs. <Insert look of bewilderment here> I mean, it’s so strange! Or is it? I will often respond by asking if that person likes all people and that usually elicits a chuckle. Yes, it is funny. Imagine if that were true! But in all seriousness, these two scenarios are not all that different. Why should every dog adore every other dog? And now that I’m thinking of it, why should every dog be magnetically drawn to every person? Sometimes we need to stop and think about our expectations. If we as humans were held up to these standards, we’d all fail miserably. 

It’s OK if your dog doesn’t like many other dogs. And if some people make your dog anxious, that’s OK too. Do your best to be understanding and respect that discomfort. There’s no reason to be angry or embarrassed. I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve seen someone scream at a dog who was barking out of fear at another dog or person. I can guarantee you that this only makes things worse for everyone. The only thing to be embarrassed about is if you try to force your dog to “like” someone, either two- or four-legged, that makes him/her feel uncomfortable. Try being your dog’s best friend and advocate. I promise you that it will pay off. 

Nipping is one of the most frustrating issues to manage when you adopt a puppy. New puppy parents often worry that nipping is an early sign of aggression.  If this concerns you, relax!  Although very annoying, nipping is completely normal for all puppies. They simply need to be taught that it is inappropriate behavior. Everywhere you look , someone is offering different advice, ranging from helpful to damaging to your relationship with your puppy. If you have a good understanding as to WHY your puppy is nipping, this will help you make the right choices.

Why is my puppy biting me? It hurts!

Nearly all nipping is your puppy’s way of getting your attention and trying to engage you in play. If you ever watch puppies or dogs play, you’ll notice that most of them naturally “play fight.” They chase, tackle, wrestle, and chew on each other as they play.  Although most puppies and dogs learn not to bite too hard (we call that “bite inhibition”), those needle-like baby teeth can really hurt when you don’t have fur to protect you! Ouch!

It makes sense that your puppy should nip at you too.  It’s playtime, so what’s the problem? Your puppy needs to learn that this is not appropriate play with people. We can’t expect him to know this automatically.  Good play with people is an acquired skill.

What should I do?

Puppies primarily bite to get our attention to get us to interact with them. We need to be sure that we aren’t rewarding behavior that we don’t want repeated over and over again. When the behavior is rewarded, your puppy will continue to nip away.

If attention is the goal, then your attention is the reward. While some people will suggest that you yelp or say “ouch,” it’s important to realize that this doesn’t work very well for many puppies.  Most hear that noise and think: “Great! Now we’re playing! Game on!”  In fact, even looking at your puppy after he has nipped is allowing the behavior pay off. It’s attention he’s seeking and you just looked.  If you yell, you’ve also unwittingly joined in the fun.

In response to nipping, keep your cool.  Don’t look at your puppy, don’t talk to your puppy, and don’t yell at your puppy.  You have a few other options.  You can calmly get a toy, put it in his mouth, and engage in appropriate play. This says to your puppy: “No, you may not bite my hands (or feet or arms or…), but you can chew on this and I’ll give you my attention.”  If no toy is nearby, you will want to simply get up and quietly walk away from your puppy to find a toy. Sometimes just walking away by itself will send a clear message.

What happens if my puppy keeps biting?

There may be times during the day when your puppy may become extremely excited, racing around and biting everything and everyone in sight.  Looking away or initiating play with a toy is useless. You might think about this as being equivalent to that overly tired 2-year-old child who will scream, cry, hit, or throw a full-blown temper tantrum when what he really needs is to sleep—the exact opposite of what he is showing you. Puppies can also become overly tired and turn into crazy biting machines without any sense of bite inhibition. It’s as though he has turned into an alligator!

Time for a nap!  If you are using a crate with your puppy or perhaps a small room blocked off with a baby gate, put your puppy in this space with a very high value treat, preferably something edible that he can lick or chew for an extended period of time.  Good options are bully sticks or a delicious stuffed Kong (preferably one that has been frozen to make it last even longer).  Most puppies will be sound asleep in five minutes. Be sure you don’t use your crate as a place of punishment.  Always be sure to give your puppy that good treat in the crate.

Can training help?

Absolutely!  Training can be very helpful. If your puppy learns to target your hand, you can use that “touch” to redirect your puppy to do something else. You can teach your puppy a solid “leave it” or "drop it" cue so that he will let go of hands, clothing, or anything else he has in his mouth.  There are all sorts of ways of redirecting that puppy energy, so taking a class with your puppy will help you to better manage his nipping.

Reward the good things!

You may find yourself worn out by your puppy. House training and managing your puppy’s environment to keep him and your possessions safe is hard work. As a result, we tend to pay attention to our puppies and dogs only when they are doing something bad.  But if you want your puppy to cut back on the biting, you need to be sure to reward the things that you like. Good quiet behavior should be rewarded.  A puppy playing by himself should be rewarded.  A puppy who brings you a toy or approaches without nipping should be given attention.  He needs to know not only what you DON’T want, but also what you DO want instead.  And don’t forget that puppies have a natural urge and need to chew, so be sure you give him lots of fun things that he is allowed to chew.

Stay one step ahead of your puppy
Instead of reacting to being bitten, see if you can head off the biting before it ever takes place. Make sure that every interaction with your puppy involves a toy. Going over to your puppy to pet him? Put a toy in front of his mouth in case he wants to put his mouth on something. See your puppy coming over to you? Hold out a toy. Don't wait for the bad thing to happen. Stay one step ahead.

A few days ago I took Lizzie, my hound mix rescue dog, to a nearby park to play. Although we have a fenced yard at home, Lizzie liked to get out and about to explore new places. So whenever I get a chance and the weather is nice, we hop in the car and head for a park with our 50-foot leash in the trunk. When we arrive, I put Lizzie on the long line and she is off like a shot. I took a video of her in action.

Most people think about taking their dogs out to play fetch, chase a frisbee, or something of that sort. Lizzie fetches in the house, but outside the house is an entirely different story. Lizzie is hound, through and through. What you see in the video is what she wants to do all of the time. Balls do not exist once we cross the threshold of the doorway. There are far too many other things to do! Well, only one, really. Sniff. And sniff. And sniff some more. Lizzie sees the world through her nose. It may look like she isn't doing much of anything, but she's actually doing quite a lot.

So while it might be fun to play fetch, I find it just as much fun to see Lizzie do what she does best. She takes in the world around her with her nose. It's not difficult to see that she's having a fabulous time. Her nose comes up off of the ground once in this clip. It's right at the very end. Her head pops up and she looks. At first she sees nothing. It's then that you realize that her eyesight has lagged behind her nose. She obviously smelled another dog, lifted her head, and looked. But it takes a moment for those eyes to catch up.

CLICK HERE to see the video: Let your dog be a dog!

I love this video because it shows my girl being herself in a state of sheer bliss. She spent 45 minutes straight with her nose to the ground with only two brief breaks to meet two other dogs. By the time we got in the car to go home, she was wiped out and asleep before we had driven five minutes! All that sniffing takes a lot out of a dog. That's a lot of information to process!

So if your dog doesn't fetch or do things you think he/she should do, take a close look at what is already going on. Maybe to your dog, what he/she is doing is even better!

For several years while I lived in coastal Maine, I volunteered many hours a week at the Marine Animal Lifeline. The Lifeline primarily rescued sick seals and pups (sometimes less than a day old) who had been separated from their mothers. We would take them to our facility, rehab them, and return them to the wild as soon as they were strong enough to fend for themselves. Every so often we’d come across a seal that couldn’t be returned to the wild--I remember one in particular who had been shot in the head by a fisherman who felt justified to kill seals because they dared to eat fish! In that case, the seal was rehabbed over a number of months and finally given to the Central Park Zoo in New York City.

We treated harbor seals, grey seals, hooded seals, and harp seals. Most were pups or juveniles. It was truly an honor to interact with these wild animals and to learn more about them. At the risk of revealing my very sappy side, I confess that I cried at the first release that I attended. We released approximately 6 harbor seals, all of whom had spent time with us for many months. We raised them as babies and helped them transition into seals that could live on their own in the wild. The tears were, in part, tears of joy, but also sadness. While I knew these rehabbed seals belonged in the wild, I feared for their safety. It’s a big, dangerous ocean out there with quite a few predators looking for a meal! After months of feedings, medications, and cleanings, I could hardly help but to feel bonded to these creatures, even though they would bite at the drop of a pin. It’s not as though we had a warm, cuddly relationship. They were, after all, wild.

Despite the distance we had to keep from them, largely out of a need to keep them from getting too comfortable with people (a potentially dangerous thing for a seal), we gave each seal a name and observed them as certain personality traits emerged. They were individuals with distinct personalities--some more noteworthy than others.

I think most people thought that the Lifeline existed to protect the species as a whole. This really wasn’t true. I distinctly remember a conversation I had with the director of the Lifeline as we were being forced to euthanize a very sick and untreatable harp seal who was suffering greatly. As the director explained to me in this conversation, although we were saving hundreds of seals a year, our work did not have a significant impact on the overall seal population. The reason we spent so many arduous hours caring for our charges was because we cared about them as individuals. Each life was worthy of being saved. The need to help them was all the more urgent for me because most of the seals had landed in the facility because of problems created by people.

So what does this have to do with dogs? A lot, actually. Each dog I encounter is a sentient being worthy of respect. Much of my work as a trainer is geared toward promoting a positive relationship between the dog and the person. If that relationship doesn’t work, shelters fill up and more dogs are put down.

Quite some time ago I began work with Pepper (pictured here), a very nervous and fearful rescue dog who had been adopted by an older woman. Within days of adopting him, the woman suffered from a stroke followed by several others in fairly quick succession. The woman’s daughter nevertheless hired me for quite a few months to work with Pepper and help him overcome some of his anxiety. She knew she would not be able to keep Pepper herself. He was not well-suited to a home with children and she had a 2-year-old son. But her empathy for Pepper and his well-being was extraordinary in this world where so many people drop dogs off at shelters as though they were ridding themselves of old clothing at Goodwill or the Salvation Army. After months and months of searching during a very stressful time that included the death of her mother, the daughter found an appropriate new home for Pepper!

Would it really matter, in the scheme of things, if the daughter had given up and dumped him at a shelter where he might very well have been put down? It depends on how you think about it. Many would say he’s just another dog and there are plenty where he came from. It’s not as though dogs are close to extinction. This, of course, is not my own view. We save dogs who need our help for the same reason that we saved all of those seals. They are individuals worthy of our respect and each one matters simply because he or she exists. Bravo for Pepper’s old and new owners for stepping up and doing the right thing!

I just returned from a 6-day trip and had to leave my dog and two cats at home. Every time those of us with dogs and cats (and rabbits and lizards, and turtles, and...) go away, there is always the question of who will care for our beloved pets. Before my dog of 15 years died, she spent the last 6 years of her life blind and, later on, frequently ill. This made it especially difficult to leave her. I hardly felt that it was fair to leave my blind dog in a kennel or with someone who didn't really know dogs and how to care for them.

I want my dog and cats to be as happy as possible while I’m away. So what are the options? My top two choices are either to take my dog to a friend’s house to stay (preferably one with a dog she likes to play with) or to have someone stay in my home and care for everyone in their normal surroundings. With a young, healthy dog with few behavioral challenges, finding someone to do this can be fairly easy. Consult your pet-loving friends to find out who know and trust. One of my favorite options has been to hire a vet tech. These people usually know their stuff, so if something happens to your dog or cat, they will know what to do. Going to your vet’s office and asking if any of the techs do pet sitting has yielded some terrific results for me. I always spend time with the person and watch him/her interact with my pets before hiring them, just to be sure I get a good feeling about how they treat my dog and cats and their trustworthiness.

It is also possible to find a good pet sitter through the many pet sitting businesses that have sprung up in recent years. They tend to be pricey, but when you start looking at kennel fees (especially for multiple pets), the difference is often negligible. The other good thing about taking this path is that you can find businesses that are insured and bonded, so you have nothing to worry about if something were to be stolen or your home were to be damaged in some way. No matter who you choose, be sure to leave detailed instructions. The more of your pets' regular schedule that can be maintained, the more comfortable they will be in your absence.

I prefer to use one of these options because it allows me to leave my pets in a familiar surrounding, whether at home or with a friend. Keep in mind that most cats are fine with just one or two visits a day, but most dogs need someone to stay with them overnight. They are much more reliant on human interaction, especially if they are feeling stressed in your absence.

Kennels and pet resorts are the other option. The range of facilities is enormous.  You can use a traditional kennel but you can also take your dog to a boarding facility where someone will sleep in a bed in the room where your pet is staying! I have found that the boarding facilities that are reliable tend to be expensive, but sometimes worth that extra expense. If you have a dog with special needs, you may find that this is the way to go. If you use a boarding facility of any kind, make sure you get an extensive tour of the facilities. Good places do not have a bad odor and are filled with plenty of caretakers who are well trained, attentive, and knowledgeable. Keep in mind that price does not always guarantee quality. Trust your instincts. If the place and the people seem suspect in any way, take your business elsewhere.

And don’t assume that leaving a dog at a veterinarian’s facilities ensures good care. Many years ago I was forced to kennel one of my dogs (something I have rarely done), so I assumed the vet’s office was the way to go. When I returned, it immediately became apparent that she had been left in a cage for long periods of time without any exercise. When I picked her up, she had trouble walking! I was horrified and guilt-ridden. If you leave your dog at a vet’s office, make sure you get a good tour and know how much exercise and attention your dog will receive. If you aren’t allowed to see the facilities, run (don’t walk) out the door. Any boarding facility should be happy to show you everything.  They should have nothing to hide.

There’s nothing wrong with checking in with your caretaker, whoever it is, to find out how your buddies are doing while you are away. I do this every time I travel.  If you are made to feel badly about that, find yourself a new caretaker!   With some research and a little luck, you will find someone or someplace that you can turn to regularly and planning future vacations will be easier. I find that if I have left my pets with someone that I really trust, vacation is so much more relaxing.

Meet Lily!  Less than a week ago, I had the great privilege to meet Lily and her people for the first time. Lily is a sweet, loving dog, probably a pitbull/bulldog mix, who shows the physical scars of past abuse on her face. Lily was found in a dumpster, emaciated and battered, but in spite of all of this, she has never been anything but friendly towards people. She was taken to the Montgomery County Humane Society, where she quickly became a favorite among the staff. After living the challenging life of a shelter dog for quite a while, Lily was transferred to a loving foster home. Enter Jennifer, John, and their two children who adopted her about three months ago. Lily now finds herself in a wonderful forever home!

When I first met Lily, I was greeted with great affection and very slobbery kisses. This week I began working with her to help her people find ways to minimize Lily's squirrel chasing, jumping on people, and other typical challenges that come along with a friendly and exuberant dog. But Lily is anything but typical. Based on her physical appearance and the behaviors she displayed in the shelter and in the foster home, the predominant view is that Lily came from a dog-fighting ring. She was probably a breeding dog, a bait dog, or perhaps both. How does an animal who has been treated so poorly and discarded in a dumpster like a piece of trash maintain such a friendly disposition towards people?  Each time I work with her, I find myself amazed by her resilience and her capacity to love and trust. This beautiful dog's problem right now is that she is so friendly that she excitedly jumps on people, greeting them with absolute abandon. How is this even possible?

Until recently, dogs rescued from dog-fighting rings were viewed as impossible to rehabilitate. Many in the animal welfare field actually believed that the only option was to destroy these dogs. The very heavily publicized discovery of Michael Vick's dogs and the laudable efforts made by Best Friends Animal Society and other rescue organizations to rehabilitate these abused dogs ultimately changed the minds of many. I wouldn't dare suggest that all dogs from this background are as easy-going as Lily, but even some of the most fearful and aggressive dogs have been successfully rehabbed and adopted into forever homes. Finally, something good has come from the bad and many people are beginning to understand that these dogs aren't permanently damaged. They aren't demonic. They aren't inherently bad dogs. They can be rehabilitated and we owe it to them to do everything in our power to help them. People damaged them, so people need to step up and heal them. Not only can they be helped, but also I truly believe that they can help us.

Not everyone has come around to understand the truth about these beautiful animals. Thanks to hype in the media, entire cities have banned pitbulls. Many apartment and condo complexes also ban them. The people who make these decisions are acting out of ignorance and unfounded fears. It's not the pitbull that we should fear, but rather the people who abuse them.

We have a long way to go in doing right by these dogs, but at least we're starting to move in the right direction. I am honored to be working with Lily and the wonderful people who adopted her. She is an inspiration and I expect that she will have a lot to teach me.